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Monday, 07 April 2008 |
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Back in the summer of 2005 when Karen and I decided to retire and spend the next 10 years traveling the globe, we had no idea where each leg of the trip would take us. The only reservation we had made was for a motel in Portland, Oregon near the airport for that night.
The few months before we left Hawaii, we had the extremely difficult task of getting rid of most of our possessions and deciding what few things we would allow ourselves to hold onto as keepsakes. We both dedicated a large blue Rubbermaid storage bin for each of us. One with a big letter “K” painted on the side for “Karen” and one with a big letter “R” for “Ravishing” or “Roy”… same thing. In this whole process of simplifying our lives, the last thing either one of us would consider doing would be to accumulate any more stuff before we left. So the story begins… It was a hot humid afternoon in June 2005, just two month before our departure from the islands. Schools all across Hawaii were about to close for the summer. Karen was finishing up her year as an Art teacher at Pearl City High School. It was a one year commitment she had made as a favor to me at my Alma Mater to fill a void in a class where they couldn’t find a qualified instructor. Karen had no teaching experience, but with a BFA, years of experience in the field and a way with kids, she was a perfect fit. Anyway…her year came to a close and I found myself in her classroom helping to clean up the tons of art projects left behind. While clearing a pile of discarded clay pieces, I found a few ceramic plates that students had made but didn’t have time to complete. I got myself a stool to sit on and began doodling silly drawings of whatever I had on my mind. Our travel plans were of course one of them. With no clear idea of the exact shape of each continent, I took an artistic stab at my interpretation of the world. I dipped my brush into a mayonnaise jar filled with glaze and wrote the following words on the rim of the plate. “Around the world in 3652 days … or maybe just Portland.” I laughed to myself at the “Portland” part since that was the first stop. I lifted the plate up in the air to show Karen. She shook her head like she usually does when I do something stupid. I then tossed the plate into a box labeled “trash” and that was that. Fast forward to April 2008. We are quickly approaching our third year of our adventure. It has been nothing like we had planned, but nonetheless our journey so far has been a blast. We haven’t made it around the world yet, but we did spend time in Tokyo, about half a year in New York City with extended stays in Los Angeles and Dallas. But most of our days were spent in Portland. It was our first stop and since then, we kept coming back. We loved it so much, we ended up buying a condo here. The creation of WHITE has impacted our plans the most. Initially we had no thought of returning to Hawaii for at least 10 years, but now we find ourselves back in the islands twice a year. On our most recent trip back to work on the publication, I sat in Karen’s room at her parent’s house and pulled out what I now call my “time capsule”. The big blue Rubbermaid storage bin with the big letter “R” for “Ravishing”. Remember! As I carefully rummaged through my most prized possessions I had packed 3 years ago, I noticed a flat object on the bottom of the bin wrapped in tissue. I had no idea what it was. I curiously pulled out all my keepsakes to remove this unknown object. I slowly unwrapped this mystery memento and there it was. I sat on the floor “floored”. I recognized the piece in an instant. I saw Karen grin to herself across the room. “You weren’t suppose to find it for another 7 years!” Karen pouted, her hands clenched into child-like fists. She had taken the plate I had doodled on that day back in the summer of 2005 and had it fired for me as a gift. I laughed at my ridiculous drawing and jumped across the room to hug her. She stopped me and said, “did you read it?” I paused and ran my fingers across the rim of the plate. “Around the world in 3652 days … or maybe just Portland.” This simple ceramic plate that was left by some student for trash had somehow found it’s way into my life. Did the plate know something I didn’t? Was it destiny that this piece of fired earth would now be in my hands? But there it was like a crystal ball, slowly... chapter by chapter... reading my life before me. I was speechless. “Most people have vision boards,” Karen said. “You just happen to have a vision plate.” “I love it!” I whispered to myself so only I could hear. “It would be perfect for enjoying my food for thought.”
-Roy Kawaji
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Saturday, 05 January 2008 |
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As our Third Issue of WHITE rolls through the presses, I can’t help but reflect on the journey each book takes us through. From cover design to distribution the tasks are never in short supply. It’s like planning a wedding, the magical evening the guests see at a ceremony and reception takes months and sometimes years. As a bride, I’m sure you already realize this, so the best advice we can give is to enjoy the ride. We take that advice to heart. We love our WHITE book, but more importantly, we love the ride. The only thing that separates our meetings from a party is we bring notebooks.Other than that it’s actually closer to a party right down to the constant laugh-till-we-cry, stomach clutching good times. Bryson Dang is our Operations Manager but everyone just calls him Mr. Aloha. That is one happy, happy guy. We prefer to think of him as our personal chef. We always sample new creations he wants to debut at his two cafés. What a perk baby! He also loves the UH Warriors and I’m not talking a fair-weather fan. He loved them last year, this year, and will continue to love them every year. True UH colors. Tanna Dang, our editor uncorks a bottle of Pinot Noir to signal that our late night work session has begun. Keyboards banging, papers flying… the madness begins.The volume that we hit is ridiculous. I’m talking rocket-launching decibels.Our ideas have absolutely no limits. If I suggest distribution of WHITE across Asia, we would all open our notebooks and see what it would take. WHITE the movie? WHITE the wedding mall? We’ll discuss it. Some mornings when I get home from an all-nighter idea cram session I would laugh to myself because at times our conversations are just so ridiculous. Not a minute later Tanna would call, and say something totally off the wall like “Yeah I would consider your idea about the wedding circus, but I’m afraid of clowns.” ...What? My wife Karen Kawaji is our lead designer. Her job might actually be the hardest because she has to decipher our wild ideas and make them pretty. She is the cool-cucumber of the group that never stresses over anything. She sits back and observes the madness like a cat perched high on a bookshelf, thinking… “What’s wrong with these people.” I know she gets a kick out of everything, because she always has a smirk on her face. Our work is extremely hard, that’s for sure. But being a part on this team is so worth it. Everyone’s optimism and passion is unparalleled. We’re all addicted to the intensity and we love our job. I mean REALLY love our job. Like I said, it’s a party! Get ready, our Third Issue hits the stands in a few weeks.
-Roy Kawaji
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Tuesday, 20 November 2007 |
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It seems like only yesterday I wrote my first blog. Having written only about a dozen, I’m still a novice at this “write into space” concept. I upload thoughts on to this screen without a care. Sort of like a note to scribble ideas on. I never took myself for a writer so concerns for sentence structure or grammar are always out the door. Me think it – Me write it.
Little did I know that this little site we created to complement our fabulous White Book would start generating somewhere close to 100,000 hits a month. It’s amazing receiving comments from people all over the country about the stories I write. Weird. I can’t believe people actually read my stuff.
I always assumed people would be the most interested in my travels. I would have never guessed in a million years that a silly story I wrote a few months back about my personal life called “A Candle on a Cupcake” would spark the interest of so many people, many whom I’ve never met in my life. Why? Why would anyone be interested? But day after day I would receive letters asking me questions about my life.
“How is it possible to have been married for over 12 years to the same person and never had a fight?” I don’t know. I’m very physical and nothing really satisfies me than to grapple with my friends for hours and beating the crap out of each other. I’m very loud, definitely not shy and I could argue with anyone hours. Just not with Karen.
“How could you have never spent a single day apart from your wife for 15 years?” Again, I don’t know. I love my entire family, but see them only a few times a year. I love my friends, but it’s not very often we all get together.
I never thought of asking myself why. I was just living my life, but now even I was curious. Was something wrong with me? So I have spent the past month on a quest to find some answers. I realized in that time I have the perfect marriage. Then again, I always felt that way. As far as answers, I have none. This is all I came up with. No secrets, nothing warm and fuzzy, just thoughts. Please don’t view this as advice I’m giving. This is only something I have felt and experienced in my life. So here I go “writing in to space” once again. I hope you enjoy it and find some usefulness with it in your life.
“Why don’t I fight with my wife?” Well… if I feel sad, she will feel sad. If I’m happy, she will be happy. Then it’s easy to conclude that I could not be happy while the she felt sad. This simple concept makes it absolutely impossible for me to fight with her. That’s it. Next question. Hey what did you expect? I told you I didn’t have a magical answer.
It makes sense though right? The only sane reason a person would fight or argue would be to prove their point. I’m right, you’re wrong. I’m stronger, you’re weaker. I’m smarter, you’re an idiot. If you fight with no point, than there is NO POINT. That’s just plain psychotic. If you want to just attack someone for no reason something is wrong with you. Which obviously will make you terrible in relationships.
So to clarify why Karen and I don’t fight. If I fight with her and I want to win, that could only happen if she loses. I should be happy for my victory, but the fact that I made her sad makes me sadder than ever. If I win I’ll be sad. If I lose I’ll be sad. Why would I ever put myself in that position?
Have you ever heard of anyone who lost an argument feeling happy for the person who won? Basically saying, you proved me wrong and made me a look like a fool but I’m so happy for you that you were able to drive home that reality in my face. That would be sad times a hundred.
Do we disagree? Yes, not often, but we do. I tell her my opinion all the time. Whether she agrees with it or not is totally up to her. It’s only my view. I didn’t marry Karen to change her… and if I did, whom would I change her into? Me? Are you kidding? Why would I want to be married to myself? I already have myself. I want Karen. Besides, I honestly believe she is the better person anyway, so if I wanted change, I would rather it be me.
I have also learned that a disagreement has nothing to do with how much we love each other; it falls into a completely different category. Love is love. Don’t involve a difference of opinion to get in the way of that. Opinions come from so many factors in your life. Culture, religion, education, on and on. Love is love. Two people who cannot even speak the same language can fall madly in love. Knowing that love needs no words, wouldn’t you agree that if you had to say anything, you would never choose to say anything bad.
Karen never yelled at me in my entire life. Never had to. I’m sure there were a lot of things she wished might have been different about me. I’m sure there still is, but she accepts me as I am. There is this neat saying I really love. “A woman can never change a man and they should never have to, for when a man truly falls in love with a woman, he will change himself.” Perhaps… and I’m really hoping this is true, that this is something that is constantly happening to me. For every morning that I awake and see her lying there next to me, I fall in love with her again.
As far as the second question, “How could you not have spent a day apart for over 15 years? Don’t you drive each other nuts?” I’m going to close that one with another quote in hopes of keeping this blog a reasonable length. “You’re not attracted to someone because they look good. You’re attracted to them because you feel good when you’re around them.” Of course I think my wife is beautiful, but I know the real reason I’m attracted to her is because I feel so good when I’m with her.
In trying to research answers to these questions, the both of us had the most ridiculous discussion the other night. I asked her, “Why do we always end up at the same place? Why are we always in the same room? Someone has to be leading the way. Are you following me or am I following you?
She said, “I think I follow you.” My answer was, “no, I think I follow you”. Then she said the funniest thing… “Maybe we’re both right and we’re walking in a circle!”
Do I drive her nuts? All the time. Does she drive me nuts? Honestly… never.
I love my life. I love my wife. When I'm with Karen I don't care who is right. As long as we're together... even if we're walking in cirlces.
-Roy Kawaji
Karen and I somewhere in the world. |
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Friday, 26 October 2007 |
Having attended a few of Tanna’s fabulous DIVA events I have found that Hawaii girls really know their fashion. Big names like Fashionista’s Market run by Emi Hart and Alyssa Fung pack the room. Jessica O’Neill also draws a crowd with Jessica’s Traveling Boutique. The girls love when Alli Kim-Czerniak brings Alliway in the house and there’s always the entertaining Tiffany Young from Bamboo Sky. These sellout events form lines at the door way before it opens. It’s exciting being backstage of The Wedding Café as Christine Gardner from Flaunt and CJ from Vicky Choe’s Salon prep the models. Watching the lobby transform with beautiful accessories from Cindy Yokoyama’s Ginger 13, Shelby and Shelly prepare their table with France Luxe, Noelani Garth takes a corner with Noelani Designs, it’s go-go-go! If Pualani Swimwear plans an event, Iwalani dazzles and it’s sure to be absolute madness when the custom fittings start!
So why this blog?
For starters, it’s to acknowledge the experts who make this magic happen, but moreso it’s for selfish reason. Being a typical guy in Hawaii who knows we have the most gorgeous girls in the world and realizing that girls with style are TWICE as hot, I just had to divulge this major fashion “awareness” breakthrough that I have discovered. So, you might be thinking… “Roy, you’re a guy, what do you know?!!”
Hey, hey ,hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on there ladies, so what if I was at these DIVA events only to serve drinks and collect empty glasses, I was there and I was listening. I know that a cute little dress cinched up nicely with a wide waist-belt embellished with a huge buckle and some sparkle can ‘wow’ your figure. If hot and sexy footwear is on your mind try a metallic peep-toe wedge. For arm candy you can’t go wrong with a versatile and always fashionable hobo bag. If you got it in you, go animal print. Be WILD. On top of all that manly knowledge I have just shown, I have also turned my hobby of people watching into a profession. Trust me this boy got his FASH-ON a’wite. So this is my take. With all the savvy and stylish girls we have on the islands, why is it that we’re not a fashion capital too? The reason is simple. Cars. Yup cars. You say what?
Let’s rewind my life back to New York City. Y’see when I used to hang out at any Starbucks in Manhattan all the women there were dressed to impress. Inside and outside the shops. Why? Because they had an audience. The reason why women in New York take their appearance so darn seriously is that they know someone is looking at them ALL the time!
So let’s do this. Close your eyes and start this fantasy. You are now living in a luxury condo in Manhattan. It’s your typical morning so imagine yourself dressed for work. As soon as you open the front door, you have taken the first step on to the world’s largest runway. From your house you strut to the subway. You comfort the early morning chill with a well chosen stylish jacket and a fun scarf to compliment your look. Holding your hot stainless thermal mug in hand you are surrounded by hundreds of equally stunning women appreciating your style. Onboard the train you cross your legs and occasionally bounce your top foot signaling to the world “see the boots, they’re new!” From your stop it’s more walking. Whether it’s to refresh your coffee or grab a bagel you never forget that you are on the world’s largest stage. Fashion week? EVERY week is fashion week. The beat goes on… As soon as you arrive at work it’s up the elevator, okay don’t rush it now, wait for your floor. You unbutton your coat and listen for your cue… the ‘ding’. Wait for the ‘ding’. The elevator stops. A slight bounce, then ‘ding’. The steel doors part like the red sea, all the eyes on that floor are on you. Heads pop out of cubicles, the chairs roll into the aisles. Then BANG you whip off your structured jacket, snap off the scarf, toss your hat and fling your hair like you’re modeling Herbal Essence Shampoo.
Lunch break with the girls can’t be more fun. We’re not talking plate lunch, take-out or the downstairs pantry, it’s all about the street front Cafés baby. Where to go, where to sit and especially where to be seen. The host instantly compliments your hip handbag, a guy at the bar eyes your Jimmy Choos among other things. (If you’re thinking, hey wait a minute, wasn’t I wearing boots? Get with it girlfriend… that was on the way to work, you changed at work, REMEMBER?) You look fabulous. The waiter loves your earrings. Your co-worker wants to see your new purse, all the while flashing a little bling herself. The after work dinner scene is all of that times a hundred. It’s miles of legs and miles of heels to match. Not to mention the accessories.
Now fast forward to Tokyo. Everyone walks here too. If you drive, you’re a deliveryman or a cab driver. Without a car you are totally exposed to the world. How you dress is who you are. This is a city where style has no limits. Whereas Manhattan is so Vanity Fair, the girls in Japan create a style all their own. In a city where everyone looks the same, girls have to fight for their individuality. They can’t just buy a stylish blouse off the rack and expect to rock. With thousands of the same outfits going off the rack they’re bound to have a few hundred girls next to them wearing the same thing. They have to make it all their own. It’s more than just a hat, bag and shoes. It’s changing the straps on their blouses and sandals, adding a unique design to their fingernails, and choosing the perfect accessory to hang on their cell phones. Will it fit? How would it look? Hey, no time for that. These girls rip the trends straight out of the pages of fashion magazines and let it fly. Hike it up. Pull it down. Tie it up. Tie it all around.
So again, why is Hawaii not on the fashion radar? The car. The car killed the sidewalks. What does that mean? Simple… lack of appreciation for the strut. You spend all this time, all this money to be noticed - WHEN? Hawaii has best weather in the world, but everyone there chooses to hide in a steel box with four tires. From your living room you enter your car via an enclosed garage. You drive in traffic where the only style you need is a headband and sunglasses, but you still insist on getting the darkest tinted windows the law allows. To make things worse you apply makeup in the car. Now your car is doubling as your bathroom. Why not slip a roll of toilet paper on the door handle while you’re at it? Sad but true. You would never catch a New Yorker walking down Broadway doing her lashes on the sidewalk. The traffic makes you late for work so it’s a dash from the basement parking lot to your desk. No one even gets a glance. Did anyone even notice your new little somethin’-somethin’? After work it’s straight back to your car. If shopping or dining is on your schedule you rather circle the parking lot for half and hour for a close space when there are tons of spaces only a cool stylish ‘runway’ walk away. If you’re getting picked up, you expect your ride to hold up traffic and wait at the curb. Why? I know the reality is you can’t do much about the traffic, but all it takes is little steps. Like for health, they recommend taking the stairs versus the elevator. Simple. Same with fashion I think. Everyone could do a little to increase ‘fashion awareness’. If you got style, why not up the game. I'm a guy and I'm telling you, boys go to war over girls like you. If you think you got it going on, get the hell out of your cars and strut! If you’re going to have drinks at the Pearl in Ala Moana after work why go straight in? Do a one-hour strut on the mall level instead. Storefronts were made for window-shopping. A perfect opportunity to have others see you. Stop for appetizers at The Mai Tai Bar while on your route. Remember - pauses, poses and turns are key to fashion awareness.
Am I way off here? Be honest. I’m just a guy and this is a random observation I made. But you must admit, if this simple blog started a hip trend where Ala Moana became like a major freestyle runway every Friday evening and the streets of Ward Villages transformed into 5th and Madison every weekend, that would be so kick-ass! Like SOOOOO kickass!
-Roy Kawaji
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Sunday, 07 October 2007 |
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So here I am once again. I close my eyes, only for a moment and I find myself with a pen in hand, thousands of miles away from a familiar face. A Venti Americano is my current best friend for it reassures me that I am in a Starbucks and I can’t be too far from home, but as soon as I pop the bubble I created for myself, a flood of neon, noise and 12 million people are quick to remind me that I have landed in Tokyo… and if you’ve been looking for a city… I mean a REAL city, look no further baby.
Today I have landed in Shibuya, one of the main stops of the Yamanote Train Line that circles this metropolis. I gaze out the second floor of the Q-Front building where Japan’s second Starbucks opened. The view below is a 6-way intersection that I read is the busiest in the world. Having lived in New York City, I have become somewhat of an expert in “holy-moly that’s a friggin’ lot of people” scenarios. I have still yet to walk the streets of Hong Kong, which photographer David Murphey claims would trump NYC, so for now Times Square is my crowd-barometer for “holy’moly”.
So the verdict? Well David, if you need to compare a crowd of people, forget Manhattan, I think Hong Kong has a new challenger. The amount of people that are walking on the streets below me is insane. The amazing thing is that the sea of people never stops. It’s wave after wave. Hour after hour. Morning, noon and night. When the “Don’t Walk” symbol appears, the last stragglers dash across the street as all the cars floor it off the start line. Instantly the edge of the sidewalk is lined with fresh pedestrians. All of them “hanging-ten” on the curb. “Toes to the nose” Tokyo Street Style! As the trains spew more bodies on to the pavement, one after another, a new layer of people are uniformly packed behind them. And I mean PACKED! Not a space spared, literally like watching a human Tetris Game, masterfully played. Then it bursts! It literally bursts. The symbol for WALK lights up like the words RELAX from the music video of Frankie Goes to Hollywood where he blares “…when you want to cooome!” Vivid, but you get the picture.
I stay there for hours watching. Yes, hours. How do I begin to explain this obsession? You see, in all this madness, there is this split… this split second of silence. The cars stop… then the world. Everything stops. So much pressure, no one can take another step. So much pressure, no one can take another breath. The hexagon is completely empty. Can you see it? Everything stands still. Absolute silence. My window frames a symphony suspended in time.
Here is the magic. Did you hear that? Right there. The air creaks. So slight that anyone could easily miss it, but enough to start an avalanche. Then all the little bodies lean onto the balls of their feet and everyone simultaneously inhales as one live entity. My chest expands, eyes frozen, glued to the phenomenon below me. Americano in one hand, my pen in the other, I lean over the table… waiting to exhale.
-Roy Kawaji
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